Week 31 - To Change

"At what price beauty?"
- Mark Rosewater (probably), Lotus Vale

Wishes.

Like the genies who grant them from Middle Eastern lore, I've always felt wary of such things. Good things almost always carry a price, and I often think that it's better to work hard for them and reap the fruits of labor as opposed to wondering whether we have already paid our dues.

It's been a crazy week at work, and although it's not exactly an out-of-the-frying-pan-into-the-fire situation, there's still a couple of things I'd like to come into terms with. I can't say much more than that, unfortunately, but yeah - there's a lot of things to think about again due to change.

People, after all, aren't always fond of change. And changes that are abrupt tend to terrify even the best of us, so there's that.

And speaking of change, I'll be another year older in a couple of weeks. Times flies by so fast, it's starting to get annoying. I wish there was a way we could bend it, even if just a little.

Actually, scratch that. Or maybe not. I don't even know anymore. There's a little too many things on the proverbial plate at the moment, and I wonder if I'll ever get to finishing them.

We'll see. I'm rambling again.

Oh, and the pizza? Project Pie has opened a branch in Park Square. Good stuff, and I'd say give it at least one try.

Later!

Suboptimal Ramblings

"I will choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
- Bill Gates

So sometimes I feel like I have to slog through severe bouts of laziness and end up just toughing it out and waiting for the nine hours to end. This is horrible, because I'm not sure how it goes for other people but I can never get myself to stop my streams of thought - not that it's something I'd want.

Anyway, there's this very interesting anecdote that made the news lately which, without the security implications, was very thought-provoking.

For the benefit of those who can't access the article (or in case it gets taken down someday), it was about a company who found out that the reason their best employee was so good at his job was because he outsourced his work to a firm in China for a fifth of his salary. What did he do with his work day? He spent it surfing on Reddit, eBay and watching cat videos.

Setting bias and the sense of professionalism aside, I'm one of the many who felt that on some level, it was a stroke of genius. It also begs a lot of questions from me.

After all, given today's performance-driven evaluations, isn't everyone essentially self-employed? What scale of outsourcing would be considered crossing the line? Was Bob truly lazy, or did he have the management skills that a lot of companies look for?

From an objective point of view, are people expected to do work or deliver results?

Why So Serious?

"Sometimes crazy is the best way to go."
- Urdnot Wrex, to Commander Shepard

So it's been a couple of months since my last interview and it's also been about that long since I've been meaning to post this. It's never the technical questions that get me stumped - in fact, I think those are the easy ones. I'm pretty sure I could answer such questions well, or bluff my way out of it. It's the HR-type questions that are often the most dangerous.

It's funny how I always make it a point to never prepare for these questions - maybe it's a good way of self-assessment in terms of my views (career-wise, of course).

Or maybe it's because the most honest answers are the ones we tend to make on the fly. After all, those answers have to come from somewhere.

As a quick side note, I once answered Force Mastery in an assessment interview when I was asked what skill I would like to learn to help in my career. It was sort of a mutual dare with some friends (where one answered culinary skills and the other said technical writing). I was half-hoping that hilarity would ensue but the interviewer didn't quite understand my answer (and I never explained it further) - and no, I didn't get in any trouble nor change my answer.

Anyway, while I've always had an idea on how to answer most of these questions seriously, there's always this one ubiquitous question that I've had trouble answering.

Where do you see yourself X years from now?

As I've written out so many times before, my answer to this has always been 'I don't really know'. I guess the most difficult part is figuring out how to say that without sounding silly. For posterity's sake, the last time I was asked this my response was something along the lines of:

I haven't really settled on what I'd want to do yet for the long term, which is why I'm pushing myself to learn as many things as I can while I still can. I will have a better idea sometime down the line, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

In retrospect, I know it sounds like a horrible answer, but I've always been under the impression that people appreciate these over canned answers. Mindless drones are a dime a dozen, and it's always nice to see that some people put a premium on out-of-the-box answers.

Are crazy answers risky? Of course they are. Will they help the potential employer single someone out from the crowd? Of course they will.

As a final side note, there was once this applicant who had to answer the same question above (and no, it isn't me). His reply? He said he hoped to occupy the interviewer's seat in sometime in the next X years.

Absolutely insane, and it absolutely worked - he got the job.

Second Guess

"Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for."
- Lawrence Block

So I think it's strange how one's views on something could change so drastically after giving it some thought or more importantly, after hearing other people's views about it.

And sometimes, one tongue-in-cheek comment can change everything.

Sometimes when one finds out that the things they've been taking for granted is something that others have been fighting for, they suddenly want to keep it for themselves. Such is human nature - I have seen this happen so many times that I've lost count. I've jeered at other people who have done this, and yet here I am doing the same.

I guess the value of something is indeed relative to the one who desires it. Maybe life is some sort of buyer's market and more often than not, we tend to pay for those concepts we think we want - even if we pay more than its actual worth. And the interesting thing is that we don't mind if we overpay as long as we're happy.

Or maybe value is an illusion. After all, all the gold in the world didn't sate Midas' hunger, thirst and feeling of loss.

And if that's what people perceive as greed, then so be it - I am greedy, perhaps even selfish. But if that's the only way the world would make me appreciate things, I guess that's something I would have to grudgingly come into terms with.

So here's to the unknown. Here's to leaving terra firma. Here's to people jumping blind into something, in the hope that everything would turn out okay. Here's to a gamble which (I hope) would turn out to be a good decision in a tired sea of bad ones.

Rigged for Failure

“Nostalgia is a necessary thing, I believe, and a way for all of us to find peace in that which we have accomplished, or even failed to accomplish. At the same time, if nostalgia precipitates actions to return to that fabled, rosy-painted time, particularly in one who believes his life to be a failure, then it is an empty thing, doomed to produce nothing but frustration and an even greater sense of failure.”
- R.A. Salvatore

So it appears that there are some things one can't run from after all. I guess that's a surprise, because part of me opted for failure. Part of me was oddly conflicted, probably because I am content with what I have right now. Part of me fears change and the necessary confusions that would ensue.

Perhaps that's why I was surprised when I was told that things would be switching around soon. I know that it should be good news but somehow it feels hollow for some reason. Maybe that's why it seemed to me that I was rigging things for failure in the first place. It's pretty ironic then that during this one time that I had hoped to fail, I succeeded.

I guess things have to move forward at some point. I am not looking forward to regularity, especially since it has never worked for me in the past. I still don't know what I have to learn or re-learn at this new gig. I could only hope I had a say in this before everything went down. J.K. Rowling was probably right when she said that those who are best suited to do something are those who never sought it. More often than not, maybe people deserve the things they tend to shun.

In a way, I envy those who seem to see this as a blessing because I'm still struggling to share this perspective. It might be that I lack vision in this particular endeavor. It could be complacency, because I'm sure this is not rationalization in any of its forms.

I don't know. Off to terra incognita, I guess. I only wish I could have been more prepared, on my terms.

Maybe next time.

NOTE: This was drafted last week. I've had some time to think about things since then and I'll probably post my thoughts some other time.

Week 37 - Whirlwind

So it has been a relatively okay week, albeit with a few last minute surprises.

Lesson learned this Thursday - never half-ass anything and place a bet on failure. More often than not, the universe is more than willing to oblige to give its dose of irony. On a more serious note, it seems that I'll be switching teams soon. I'm not sure how that happened, because I was already fairly certain that result of the interviews would be the exact opposite.

In other news, three back-to-back events in Blood Brothers made me lose a lot of sleep this week. At the very least, I didn't spend cash on it, which is good because that's always a clear sign that I should probably quit.

I also had my first online video game purchase this week. I'm still trying to figure it out and I'll post a review once I finish it.

I got this patchwork mask from Etsy. It's something I bought on impulse three months ago which was pretty stupid in retrospect, and it looks awesome. I guess that's one step closer to serial killer.

Lastly stop reading here if you're planning on watching Resident Evil: Retribution. True to its video game roots, a ton of characters respawned that it's not even funny. I mean Michelle Rodriguez dies 2.5 times in this movie. How does that even happen? I think she's the female Sean Bean. Speaking of Michelle Rodriguez typecasting, not only does she die again, she plays yet another soldier-type character and wears wifebeaters. I can't believe they killed off Barry Burton. Hopefully, he'll respawn too. Also, Li Bingbing as Ada Wong is awesome (see the sketch I drew).

Tranquil

So it looks like the first half of June is a lost cause. All I've asked for was to be given consecutive days off, but even that couldn't be granted. I'm not exactly fully functional when I only have one day off, especially if I have to work in the morning. Anyway, it's probably for the better, as I'm essentially broke for that period of time anyway. And yes, it's because of grown up responsibilities, which sucks.

I want to share one of my favorite blog posts as of late. Sometimes, we are begged the question of how far we are willing to let things slide. How nice is too nice? Where should someone stand in the asshole-to-doormat spectrum? Is there a point where we could be selfish for our own benefit and have it still be morally acceptable? Because if there is, I've been doing a lot of things wrong.

The thing is I tend to try to avoid confrontations a lot more often than I should. I often feel like there are better ways to resolve conflicts than petty argument. I have no issues with settling for a compromise and it really ticks me off when things have already been decided beforehand without any opportunity for amends.

I truly hope that I wouldn't have to eat my own words and pull up scorecards. I hope I can someday proudly say that I didn't have do that even if everyone did it, because it's just wrong. I hope that somehow I could earn the things I want without cutting corners.

A friend of mine said that we should always look into the lighter side of things, whether they were good or bad. I suppose that's one way of looking at life's troubles. When you've made a living out of turning things around and taking on increasingly difficult odds, it's words like those that get stuck to you. Sometimes simple words like those hold so much meaning in them, and it's such a waste that a lot us us take it for granted. It's people like them who make me realize that not everything is horrible when it's seen from the right perspective.

So I guess I'll have to tank through the next couple of weeks.

As the proverb goes, this too shall pass.

A Few Tips for Job Hunters

So you’ve submitted your resume and you finally got that call for an interview. This is the point where many of us make or break it, and here are a few tips to increase your odds of securing that job you applied for, as well as to know if you really want the said job for the long run.

Remember that asking questions is one way of showing your interest towards the open position!

Look up the company background.

This should be a no brainer, but a lot of people tend to rush in blind towards an interview. One common question applicants receive is how much do they know about the company they’re applying for. A quick search on Google, or Wikipedia (especially if it’s a well-known company) would be enough to know what the company does as well as give you an idea of your possible role within the organization.

Look up the company culture.

It’s a given fact that companies treat their employees differently. It’s also a known fact that people of the same feather flock together. Some companies are laid-back, while others enforce very strict rules and metrics. If you want to gauge if you’ll fit in with the company culture, you could try to look up online forums and check the feedback from former and current employees of your dream company. Be prepared to read some harsh words though, as sometimes the threads turn into flamewars. Sites like Pinoy Exchange could cater to this.

Ask if there would be any training opportunities.
This is always a big plus. While we learn things while doing actual work, you cannot replace actual classroom training with certified instructors (or being sent abroad). It’s something you can add to your resume in your list of acquired skills and would show that the company cares for an employee’s career growth. Just remember to ask if there would be a bond (where you cannot switch companies for a certain period of time after being trained). In case there is, keep in tip number two in mind and see if the bond is worth it.

Ask for their arrangements during holidays, especially if it is a foreign company.

As we are all aware of, the Philippines has become one of the largest BPO hubs in the world. This means that chances are that we’re working for companies under different time zones and different cultures. Some companies give employees days off when it’s a holiday on the host country, some give days off when it’s a holiday here. There are cases where neither or both are observed. Just remember that whatever the case may be, you’re entitled to a benefit of some sort (ie. holiday premiums or additional days off). When in doubt, ask!

Ask them to give the specifics of the position you’re applying for.

This bit is tricky but it is worth doing. Make sure to ask the interviewer the scope of your job. This would help avoid any misunderstanding when you finally get hired. If you’re in IT, for example, you may not like programming but you like doing support work. Make sure that it is clear from the beginning that this would be the case.

One last thing. Read your contract before signing!

Remember that most of the things described above should be in your contract. In case some of your demands have been met (additional days off, health benefits, etc.), make sure they’re specified in the contract as well.
So those are just a few pointers to keep in mind during job interviews. Just make sure that whatever job you apply for, make sure that you know that you’re actually interested in doing it and that you’re learning from the experience.

Happy job hunting!

Defiance

"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible."
-Arthur C. Clarke

So ever since I've started working, a lot of people have been pestering me to leave the country as soon as I had the chance. They firmly believed that there is no longer any hope here of making it, so to speak. The thing was they did have a point.

I would be lying if I said I loved this country and thus would accept all its faults with open arms. Only a fool would say that. As a matter of fact, there are plenty of reasons to think that we have reached a point of no return.

After all, who would want to live in a place where the common mentality is to pull everyone down with them? Who would want to wake up every morning knowing that at any moment they could be screwed by the very people they trust to protect them? Who would want live in a place knowing that their taxes are either spent on useless things, or are kept for personal use? Who would want to see that whenever there is real work taking place, it has to have the name of the person overseeing it on a poster somewhere, as if to remind the commoners that the people in power are doing their work?

However, if you look really hard, you would see things that don't add up. You'd see people living comfortably in highrise condominiums. You'd see people mucking about in posh malls. You'd see people going to vacations on a whim. There must be something we're not seeing here, we thought.

Well, we've decided to go that route.

I've had a chat with another former work colleague the other day. While a lot of them were quitting dead-end jobs, this dude talked about taking an IT-related course (he was an engineer) so he could stand and bang with the IT professionals. He revealed that there have been recent openings in some companies where work compensation was ridiculous. It was ridiculous to the point that leaving the country seemed like a very dumb idea when those opportunities exist here.

The crazy thing is that I know deep down that as a goal it is attainable, and that it can be done within a reasonable amount of time. I am well aware that I may be setting myself up for a huge fall. But I feel like it would be such a waste if I turn back now. I have to know how far I can push things.

Well, some of our dreams in life sound insane.

I've read somewhere that humanity's special power is that it is able to turn the impossible into something believable, and the believable into the possible.

We have work to do.

The Edge of Chaos

"Complex systems tend to locate themselves at a place we call "the edge of chaos". We imagine the edge of chaos as a place where there is enough innovation to keep a living system vibrant, and enough stability to keep it from collapsing into anarchy."
-Michael Crichton, The Lost World

So I caught up with a bunch of my former work colleagues over the weekend. It seems that there's another massive wave of attrition going on. Those were good, dependable people, but it's not surprising that what happened finally broke their will after three years worth of keeping up with the crap and hoping for change.

I remember a professor of mine once said something like justice is being given every person what is due to them. If that's the case then people, as a whole, are being severely shortchanged most of the time. It sucks that accomplishments nowadays are only considered useful if there are numbers to back them up. It's sad that nobody really knows or cares about what has been sacrificed to provide those numbers, save for the people at the bottom of the heap.

The thing is that in many cases we lose the balance we have carefully tried to maintain over time. It's difficult to act and make choices when there are so many restrictions in place and so many metrics to fulfill, while at the same time we are asked to provide more and more. These are times when people are forced to place a value on things and more often than not, they have to drop something to keep everything important - their values, their beliefs, their dreams, their responsibilities - in line.

I will forever be a proponent of free will. It feels like the world restricts our choices nowadays, especially in these times when making a living is becoming increasingly difficult. People tend to forget that there is always the option of walking away.

Sometimes it's useful to just lean back so we could see that something will just not work out and hence we should cut our losses. In the long run, it would probably be good for everyone involved. Sometimes it's better to find something else that we know we want to do, instead of giving a half-assed effort on something we hate doing.

They say freedom has its responsibilities. We could probably argue the inverse, that for every responsibility we take on, we should be granted the freedom it entails. After all, wouldn't that be justice?

Weighing the Scales

So last week was sort of an epiphany. One can only wake up alone in the house so many times because he had work the night before, and the folks have gone to some trip. One can only miss so many vacations, so many gatherings, so many life-changing events. I seem to always forget that those are probably the very reasons why I work in the first place.

I have often asked myself how workaholics balance the five factors in life. It often turns out that the answer is that they most likely don't. Most of the time, people can balance four, tops, which is scary. I've known people who work fourteen-hour shifts. I've had friends who only had other friends attend their graduation because their parents couldn't make it. I've heard of people ditching others because something more important came up at work and they had to be there. And I sure as fuck wouldn't turn myself into a godless machine to ensure business continuity.

I cannot work in operations forever, because that's a ticket to an early grave. And I simply cannot do development for a living. There's just something that does not make me want to blur the line between work and personal time and that's something that gets sacrificed in this line of work.

I don't know what I'll give to know what my options are at this point.

Finding Elysium

So it looks like I'm slated for ITIL training next week. That should be interesting.

I'm well aware that I'm not supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I can't help to question if it's something I'll be needing for the long term.

(Note to self: Yes, it probably is, unless something instantly makes me filthy rich.)

One might ask why I'm a little tentative on this. The following quote pretty much sums up my answer: 

"I see the people who do the real work; and what's really sad is that the people that are most giving, hardworking and capable of making this world better, usually don't have the ego and the ambition to be a leader. They don't see the interest in superficial rewards, they don't care if their name ever appears in the press. They actually enjoy the process of helping others."
-Celine, Before Sunset

Besides, I'm guessing my general attitude towards assuming leadership roles is similar to that of me writing code. The reward is in knowing that it's something I'm capable of doing, yet I don't see myself doing it for a living. I mean, I love food, but I don't have to be Kobayashi to affirm that, do I?

(EDIT: Wow, I actually managed to not use profanity in a post for once. I must thus double the dose in my next post.)