Friday, January 30, 2015

2015 So Far - January

Not Shown: Me Drenched in Sweat.
So what was I up to when I wasn't breeding Pokemon like a ten year-old for the past month?

Besides slaving away, I've managed to finish the draft for Domino. I'm uploading the files as I write this, so hopefully I'll get the proofs sometime next month. The cover (which was incidentally not designed by me) looks amazing and A Scoundrel's Missives would probably look terrible next to it.

Oh, and I finished another marathon walkathon, so there's that.

Speaking of which, I had an oddly specific dream last weekend the night before the run. Strangely enough, it hasn't left my memory yet.

I was somewhere listening to a traveler of sorts, who was telling some people about a story of his travels to Aryavarta, particularly at the Karni Mata Temple.

One particular statue caught his attention - that of a reclining couple hewn out of solid gold. Curious, he asked his guide about it as it seemed out of place amongst the countless rats and their worshippers strewn about the temple.

According to his guide, legend has it that the statue was that of an impoverished couple living in the ancient slums of Rajasthan. One particularly cold night, they woke up to the sound of thousands of rats surrounding them as they slept on the floor of their home. The husband, fearful for his and his wife's life, whispered to her that they should remain still lest the rats feast on them.

Karni Mata, seeing their devotion for each other despite their living conditions, ordered the rats to blanket them in gold. The next morning, their neighbors found the statue at their home surrounded by rats. Seeing this as a sign, they moved it to the temple, where it remains to this day.

The traveler mused about the couple's final fate - encased alive in gold in fear of the rats' hunger.

I guess the point is that I've been trying to make sense of that one for a few days now. Maybe there have many things that I've subconsciously (and probably consciously) been putting at the back of my mind for the past few months. I guess it's safe to say that the future worries me increasingly every year.

I'm turning twenty-eight twenty-seven sometime this year. The thought of the ominous 'Thirties' looming just around the corner with very little to show for it (in my opinion) fills me with dread. It scares me that the days seem to be fleeting now, even as I try hard to transcribe as much of it as I can for some unlucky soul to stumble into in the future.

Most days it seems to be a battle between things I want to do and things I should be doing, and it feels like I'm on the losing side. I want to write more - and I'm not - and it feels terrible to not do what I've been doing regularly for the past three years or so.

But y'know, I'll try my best and all that. I know that it isn't fair for me to complain when there's really nothing for me to complain about in the big picture. I wish there were some words of wisdom I could find solace in, but yeah, maybe I'm just feeling like I'm stuck in a bit of a rut at the moment.

It happens to the best of us, I guess, so I'll ride it out.


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