Week 9 - Finding Iram

Sometimes we just have to stop and watch the world spin.

"Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible."
- T. E. Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom

I can never help but smile (or smirk, really) whenever I get pep talk about things like thinking outside the box or expanding my horizons or challenging myself. I guess I have a nasty habit of thinking way beyond the out-of-the-box-zone, and my friends would always say that such talks are dangerous when it comes to our circle.

Perhaps it's because I got asked (again) if I'm satisfied and happy with what I'm doing (and if I'm in my comfort zone) and I couldn't respond with a resoundingly clear yes (and because I would rather not answer clearly rather than say something that isn't the truth) - and that I try to avoid settling into some semblance of a comfort zone in terms of work because it makes me a bit careless, which is often costly in my line of work. Sometimes my answers are less sensible when I try to translate them into words.

Perhaps it's just the recent news I acquired about things opening up next door (twenty-eight floors away to be quite specific, fifty if we're being overly pedantic). In as much as I would like to satisfy that curiosity, I guess I'll have to focus on the now (which was incidentally an answer I gave to some work-related things earlier) and file this as a mental note for future reference.

I'm not too sure how far away that particular future is though.

It's just that at times I realize how patient the world has been (and still is) with me (and my apparent delusions of grandeur, but I digress), even if I tend to expect a bit more from it every time. It often seems like I get into situations where I have no business being involved in, and even if I often have no clue on which direction to head to, things turn out all right. It feels like things tend to get skewed in my favor even if logic dictates that things should have been a complete mess and for that, I'm truly grateful. I would be the last to admit it, but sometimes I have to acknowledge that I tend to be too hard on myself.

Maybe I always say that I try to leave as little as possible to chance, but somehow it seems like it dictates much more than I can ever perceive. 

Or maybe perhaps it's just the late nights that's got me overthinking again.