Sunday, March 29, 2015

2015 So Far - March

It feels truly weird - writing this entry.

Some days, it almost feels like a sin - the way I've been tapering off on the updates on this blog. Sometimes I wonder if that's how adulthood works. One day, you'll try you hardest to share the most minute aspects of your life. Cut forward a few years and you're finding a reason not to.

I remember my favorite episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's one from season three, called The Firebending Masters, where Aang seeks the mastery of his last element - fire - from none other than his former enemy Zuko. The problem was that Zuko has seemingly lost his talents as well. It turns out that his rage and anger fuelled his talents, and when he let those go his abilities went away with them. This prompts the duo to seek out the original firebenders - the dragons. In the end, Zuko rekindles (pun intended) his passion and has greater mastery over his element than before.

I'm at that stage these days, hoping that it's a temporary thing. I've been mulling over why I haven't been able to write as much over the past few months. I'm trying to think about why I haven't really had time to sit down, reflect and internalize the increasingly hectic world around me. I suppose it turns out that occupational burnout is a very real thing, especially when one lies down every weekday and realizes that they're already dreading the the next twelve hours that would follow the moment they wake up the next day. I guess it gets tiresome to see one's goals get changed every time they manage to get close - and have that happen year after year.

At the very least, I'm trying. I'm trying to find that fire again, even if might have me looking way beyond the borders I'm currently standing in.

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