Thursday, January 31, 2013

Because I Am Just As Lost As Everyone Else

The strange thing about being known as an avid listener of other people's stories is that people tend to expect some sort of advice once they spill the beans to you. The problem with people asking for advice is that more often than not, they often seek affirmation for their position on the matter, rather than seek actual help.

Sometimes, as much as I'd like to be the one doing the affirming, it feels more important to lay down all the cards from a cold point of view and give an impromptu reality check. That's the thing about being friends with someone - there's a degree of proximity to be trusted as a confidant, yet there's that distance (even for best friends) that would allow someone space to think things through without the pressure commanded by close family.

For what it's worth, I've always hated those few times that affirmation wasn't an option. And I really hate it when I have to do it while feeling sick, because thinking of things to say is a hit-and-miss for me when I'm sleep-deprived and groggy from the meds that I have to take to be able to barely function like a zombie.

This was one of those weeks.

I hate it when I have to stop someone from doing something incredibly stupid, even if everyone else (including myself) thinks it's a funny idea and it's a friend's sacred duty to push other friends into hilarious situations.

I hate telling someone that they didn't make a horrible first impression but they messed up the subsequent ones.

I hate telling someone that there isn't anything they can do to change those impressions if they're going to mope.

I hate telling someone that people like people because they perceive value in them - whether it's a certain set of skills, or that they make for good company, or that they uplift the things around them.

I hate telling someone that being nice does not count because everyone can and will be nice if they want to.

I hate telling someone that trying to learn things that would add value to them as a person is a step in the right direction, that most of the time it's the only direction and that more often than not, is the reward in itself.

I hate telling someone that it's badass for a person to be able to do what others refuse to do because of a misplaced sense of pride.

And when all else fails, I hate telling someone what happened after they wake up from the metaphorical knockout that they brought upon themselves.

Maybe it's because sometimes, there are bastards you just can't seem to abandon because they've done the same for you in the past - when you thought of something incredibly stupid and everyone else thought it was a funny idea.

Jeez, sometimes I don't even believe the things I say.

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