Tuesday, August 18, 2009

What the hell am I doing?


Wow, it's 1 AM and I'm thinking of stuff to write.

I'm guessing I should just vent right now, because nothing right has happened in the last few months.


I can't believe I'm still fuming at that guy who gave me a "technical interview" a few months back. It was my best shot at a halfway decent job and the guy ruined it by asking me to solve a rather irrelevant question. I never expected a trigonometry question when I was applying for a job as a software tester. The question he gave me would haunt me for the rest of my life.

I don't really know what excuse I could give myself for not having a job right now. For the record, I won't say I'm not trying. I suppose I was really depressed by that last attempt. Then again, maybe I'm underestimating myself. It's a bad habit formed out of the shitload of summer classes I took during college. I've turned down offers as a programmer because I've always feared failure. I can't stand something not working properly, especially if it's my work. More importantly, I dislike losing creative control over my work. I hate weird coding standards set up by some guy who derives pleasure from the knowledge that some employee is seething in anger over an outlandish protocol. Sifting through some other person's code isn't my cup of tea either.

There's not a night that passes that I don't contemplate swallowing my pride and going for a career in BPO. Maybe I could take one as a "for-the-moment job".

Gah, hate this post. Too many I's.

/me is seldom a first-person personality, people like those are full of themselves.


/* back to regular programming */

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